The Jim of the United States

Archive for January, 2009

You Know, Ashley Judd Is Kind Of A Knucklehead

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 27, 2009

Apparently Ashley Judd had a big day today when she emceed the 40th birthday luncheon for NARAL Pro-Choice America.  Gee, how did I miss this event?  And it sounded like so much fun:

After flubbing a few lines, Judd, who emceed the event, stopped and said, “I need to take a breath. I get so excited.”

After a brief slide show featuring Bush and other anti-abortion politicians, during which the crowd booed and hissed, Judd remarked, “It’s so nice to live in America again.”

Yes it is Ashley, yes it is.  Too bad those aborted fetuses don’t get the same chance at hope and change.

But wait!  Ashley wasn’t the only one yucking it up:

NARAL President Nancy Keenan, whom Judd called the “Barbra Streisand of the pro-choice movement” because “she does it all,” had the mostly female crowd cracking-up during her speech, as she showed a picture of the bathroom at NARAL’s headquarters, which sports a photo of President Bush signing anti-abortion legislation.

“Can you think of a better birthday gift?” Keenan questioned as the picture morphed into the new president and this year’s newly elected Democratic senators.

Folks, do I need to point out the irony here?  Seriously, do I?


Posted in Celebrity Hot Air | 1 Comment »

An Historic Day

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 27, 2009

Today marks the one week anniversary of the most historic day in the history of history:  The Inauguration of B. Hussein Obama.  No other day in all of history will ever be as historic.  The truly historic nature of this historic event was absolutely historic in every historical way.  Historically speaking, this historic day will rank as the most historic day in the history of history.

Sorry, I just got caught up in the moment.  Truly historic.  Ooops, sorry.  But do you folks realize what this man accomplishes each and every day??  No other black man has been President for seven days.  And tomorrow will be another unprecedented day!!!!  Each day will be more historic than the next!!! 

I gotta tell you, my penis is harder than Chinese arithmetic today.  I am so happy we can all pull together, dig deep, and make personal sacrifices for the common good.  Finally, once again after 8 years of oppressive rule, we can be citizens of the world.

The sun is shining once again.  The birds are a little more joyous in their singing.  Hope springs eternal and the change is palpable.  Hooray for America.  Hooray for history!

Posted in B. Hussein Obama | 1 Comment »

Chiefs Fire Herm Edwards

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 25, 2009

hermYeah I know I am late on this:

Herm Edwards was finally fired 10 days after Scott Pioli was named General Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs and three seasons (and 10 days or so) after being named head coach.  I guess I stand corrected.  B. Hussein Obama’s election really did bring hope and change.  Well……at least to Kansas City. 

In my opinion it was three seasons too late.  However, there are some out there that think it was cruel to leave Herm swaying in the wind for ten days before pulling the trigger.  Me, not so  much.  What was cruel was the fact that Herm kept insisting Brodie Croyle was our starting quarterback, knowing full well he couldn’t start my car let alone start in the NFL.  I wonder what else was cruel?  Oh yeah, the guy went 15 and 33.  15 and 33.  Are you kidding me? 

Look, Herm is a great guy.  An outstanding guy and a man full of integrity.  His work in the community, specifically the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, will not be forgotten.  And frankly, being Herm, he will continue to do so.

In the end, I am tired of paying $1,200 for season tickets to see a 2-12 team take the field.  Bottom line, it comes down to playing to win the game……

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

The “I wouldn’t Buy It, But Might Try It” Post

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 25, 2009

I love pickles.  When I was a kid, my parents gave me a case of pickles for one of my birthdays.  So I was intrigued when Food Network’s show, Unwrapped, ran a segment on a product called Bob’s Pickle Pops.

Look, again, I like pickles as I stated above.  I also like oysters.  But I don’t think I would take the juice, freeze it on a stick, and eat it.  In fact, I know I wouldn’t.  Buuuuuuut with that said, I suppose I might try a pickle pop if presented with one.  I just can’t believe there is a market out there for these things.

Posted in Nuggets of Potpourri | 1 Comment »

The Learning Curve…At America’s Expense

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 22, 2009

Ok, is it just me or does anyone notice the literal and metaphorical emptiness of the broad surface of the desk?


Just wondering…

Posted in B. Hussein Obama, Photo Of The Moment | Leave a Comment »


Posted by TheJOTUS on January 22, 2009

Hey, who has two thumbs and takes a United States steamer on the chests of 58 million people?

This guy…

Ok, so I have used that one before, big whoop.  Wanna fight about it?  But seriously, how about we don’t nominate a guy to head a party who despises virtually everyone in said party?  See, it sounded rather simple in my head too.

Today, Obama signed an order to close the eeeeeeveeeelllll Gitmo.  Yep.  No more loud Metallica or Christina Aguilera being played.  No more uncomfortable temperatures, whether it be hot or cold.  Nope.  Nothing but nice, soft warm blankets and hot soup for our terrorist inmates.  Ahhhh, the utopia!  All we need now is a unicorn that shits skittles:

The message that we are sending around the world is that the United States intends to prosecute the ongoing struggle against violence and terrorism and we are going to do so vigilantly,  We are going to do so effectively and we are going to do so in a manner that is consistent with our values and our ideals.

And, he’s gonna get right on that folks, but no later than a year from now.  How magnanimous. 

But before the ink was dry on the paper, Maverick and his gimp lackey damn near stepped on women and children to be one of the first to shed praise on the event.  You know what you get when you run the most liberal Republican?  Exactly…

Posted in B. Hussein Obama, John McCain, Military | 2 Comments »

What’s Good For The Goose, Not So Good For Norm Coleman

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 21, 2009

It looks like the Senate democrats are moving forward with seating comedic hack Al Franken.  Obviously they don’t care much about Norm Coleman’s pending lawsuit challenging Minnesota’s election and fraudulent recount. 

The left is more concerned with due process for the terrorists than a U.S. Senator’s.  Well, a Republican Senator.

U.S. Senator??

U.S. Senator??

Posted in Nuggets of Potpourri, Politically Speaking | Leave a Comment »

Inauguration Day Summed Up

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 21, 2009

I think this says it quite nicely:


Posted in B. Hussein Obama, Media Bias | 1 Comment »

Happy Inauguration Day!!

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 20, 2009

Well today is the big day.  Can’t you just feel the hope?  Yeah, me neither.  Perhaps I am just incapable of feelings?  Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to love?  I feel so empty……

Anyway, for those not watching the unprecedented ball fondling the media is showering on Obama today, what will you be doing?  (By the way, I love how when the media honchos cut to their reporter in the field, the first response is to tell us a lot of people are there.  Well thank you Captain Obvious.  Dynamite drop in Mr. Reporter, that journalism schooling is really paying off!)

Me, I’ll be doing what every normal, true conservative would do:  Playa hatin.  Yep.  Hoping something bad will happen.  Not physically of course, don’t be silly.  But bad things like every bride in the world hopes doesn’t happen on their wedding…err…Inauguration day. 

Maybe a big gust of wind will blow at the perfect time and knock over the teleprompters during Barry’s speech (we all know how that will affect Barry).  Or the audio could go out just after he starts, then all you see is Barry standing up there like Forest Gump trying to keep on keepin on.  All the while the crowd telling him “we can’t hear you maaaaan.  Duuuuude, the microphone is off.” 

Or perhaps Pastor Rick Warren says the wrong name.  Oh…wouldn’t that be embarrassing? 

But the thing I would really like to do is what Jim Carrey did to Steve Carell’s character in the movie Bruce Almighty.  Now that would be hilarious…


Click here if the video doesn’t load.

Posted in B. Hussein Obama, Media Bias | Leave a Comment »

Another Reason Why Pepsi Is A Horrible Drink

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 20, 2009

When I was a kid, the only soda my parents would get was Pepsi (To this day, when I visit, there is only freaking Pepsi to drink).  Occasionally, the old man would get cream soda but 99% of the time it was Pepsi.  And ever since then, I have hated it.  It tastes like sugar flavored plastic.  Although admittedly, there are times where I will muscle down one just to soothe my carbonation addiction.  Usually, it is the morning after a night out of drinking.  But always when nothing else is available–and never paid for by me.

However now we…err…I…have a new reason to hate Pepsi.  Funny, I don’t remember any congratulations to Bush when he won the Presidency…and definitely not from a mass marketing perspective.  I don’t recall people wanting to share their “hopes and dreams,” or calls to express our feelings or “refresh our nation.”  Any videos of the rallying cry “we’re all in this together” after 9/11?  Yeah……I don’t remember either. 

Plus, anybody notice the similarities in the Pepsi logo and B. Hussein Obama’s? 

It used to be that companies and products didn’t get involved in politics.  At least not officially.  It’s bad for business because the company risks alienating those on the other side of an issue or candidate.  And this particular marketing plan is a tad squirrelly:  For one, 58 plus million voted for the other guy.  Second, the whole “refreshing” theme has been a Coke thing for years. 

Apparently the Pepsi marketing team has as much creativity as these “B” list celebs…

Posted in Nuggets of Potpourri, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »