The Jim of the United States

Former Governor Wants His Old Job Back

Posted by TheJOTUS on April 29, 2009

Oh, and by “old job” I mean the one he didn’t commit two impeachable scandals and eventually resigned in disgrace from.  But his job before that one:  Attorney General.  A job, which was in his case, is the state’s main legal advisor and has basically executive responsibility for law enforcement.

So frequenting a call girl in the exact same kind of prostitution ring he crusaded against as Attorney General, and crusades he built his political career on I might add, apparently doesn’t seem like a problem or conflict of interest to him:

After launching a column on, and giving interviews to National Public Radio and the “Today” show, the sources say, the disgraced former governor told friends: “My record as governor was disappointing, but the voters will remember my excellent two terms as attorney general.”

Disappointing??  Disappointing is pulling out and mistakenly throwing it on your side of the bed instead of hers (What?  I am keeping with the theme here…don’t judge).  It’s not like your ho-hum (Pun intended.  Bing, bang, boom!) sex scandal, such as banging a secretary or even an intern, which for some moral high grounders would be bad enough.  But this guy broke the law by spending thousands of dollars of his family’s money on prostitutes, while prosecuting other prostitutes.  Hello????  Can New York be liberal enough to put this guy back in charge?

And speaking of frequenting a call girl…Eliot apparently liked to choke his girl during sex.  And here I thought this only happened on CSI, or CSI Miami, or CSI NY, or Law and Order SVU or…my brother in-law’s apartment:

“He wanted a scenario where I was supposed to say I had just been to a self-defense class. He was supposed to respond, ‘Let’s see if you learned anything. He would be aggressive. I would have to defend myself.
“When he arrived, he took off his jacket but kept on his shirt and tie. His demeanor was nice, but I don’t remember any kissing or tenderness. He wanted to get on with the role-play. It was the first time I’d done that.
“I remember holding his wrists and him pushing back. I felt he was gauging my strength. We moved to the bed. He put his clothes neatly to the side, folding his pants. Yes, he did leave his socks on.
“I was never fully undressed. He was naked. He was perspiring a lot. He was holding me down. He pinned me to the bed. That didn’t bother me. But when he grabbed my throat, that was too much. I remember trying to push myself up off the bed, which made him apply more pressure. I’ve never been worried about my safety, but I was really concerned.
“Finally, I pushed him away and got up. He hadn’t finished. But I’d had enough. I don’t think he was planning on really hurting me. He didn’t ask if I was all right. He didn’t appear to be mad, either. Maybe he had had so many experiences with other people that he could see I didn’t know what I was doing. As he was leaving, he gave me a tip.”

That’s hot.  Sort of.  Ok, yes it is…

I remember when this story came out last year there was some mention of a particular sex act that Spitzer wanted, and was willing to pay extra for.  My first thought, and really my only thought, was a scene from The Soprano’s.  A scene where, during sex, Ralph Cifaretto is taking it in the ass with a dildo by Janice Soprano.  Man, was I way off.

So whoever said “sexual asphyxia”……come on down!  You’re the next contestant on “Weird shit you can do during sex!”


One Response to “Former Governor Wants His Old Job Back”

  1. zulubuff said

    maybe Elliot could party with Marv albert, or that Crane guy from Hogan’s Heroes

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