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Archive for the ‘Celebrity Hot Air’ Category

I Think Jimmy Buffet Has Been Out In The Sun A Tad Too Long

Posted by TheJOTUS on July 17, 2010

So I recorded Jimmy Buffet’s charity concert to help the people of the Gulf he had last week.  I have always been a parrothead.  Then I find out Jimmy Buffet, the genius that he is, seems to know who to blame for the oil spill.  After reading this, I haven’t brought myself to watch it yet:

The Obama-supporting musician told the Associated Press on Tuesday that he believed the Bush administration was responsible for the crisis, due to its alleged ties to oil companies.

“To me it was more about eight years of bad policy before [Obama] got there that let this happen,” said Buffett. “It was Dracula running the blood bank in terms of oil and leases.”

While celebrities from Larry King to James Cameron have already lined up to offer aid to people impacted by the oil spill, Buffett says he also hopes that his sea-side concert next Sunday in Gulf Shores, Alabama will soothe people’s anger over the crisis.

“People were going, ‘What are you going to do about things?’ I mean, hell, I can’t stick my finger in that hole. Everybody wishes they could,” Buffett told the Associated Press on Tuesday. “What I’m best at is two hours of escapism for people that have to go back and either live jobs that they don’t like or whatever…it’s that Mardi Gras mentality.”

Jimmy Buffet, splitting atoms with.  His.  Mind!!

Perhaps we should remind Captain Sun Bake that in the last 20 years, it was Obama receiving by far and away the majority of campaign cash from BP.  Something apparently lost on our famous beach bum.  Seriously Jimmy, can you just shut the hell up with the incoherent ramblings of the “Bush did it” syndrome?  Jesus f-ing Christ already.

Look, I openly admit to enjoying his music and have seen him in concert four times.  Really, once you get past the obnoxious overplayed ones he’s most known for, he has written some pretty good tunes.  And the Margaritaville restaurants are good fun, despite the food tasting like ball sweat.   I imagine he’s being asked his take on the Gulf because he grew up in Mobile and started his career in New Orleans.  His career took off after he spent some time in Key West.   And–not coincidentally–he just opened a gigantic name-branded resort in Pensacola.  So, obviously he’s got some over sun-exposed skin in the game.

His music has always had a left leaning tilt to it and when he was interviewed on CNN, he was careful not to seem too partisan one way or another.  Why?  Well because he’s a businessman, and the central part of his fanbase is middle class redstaters who like to blender it up one night a year in an amphitheater parking lot.  I mean really, is there anyone who represents the American dream more than Buffett?  Mediocre so-so talent, incredible marketer, tours in the summer to replenish his bank account……seriously, more power to him.

The guy is worth million and millions of dollars a year.  A year!  And he didn’t get there on the pure residuals of “Cheesburger in Paradise.”  The man owns something like four airplanes and the cash making those bad boys run isn’t cheap.  It’s the concert tickets, the branded margarita maker, the Buffett beer, the tee shirts, the lawn chairs, the baseball caps, and the Lost Shaker of Salt ($7.99, Margaritaville Cafe.)…basically the fleecing of the midwestern boob.

He’s made his millions, and bless him for it.  He keeps a lot of people employed and I for one enjoy his music.  Politically, well Jimmy, just STFU about politics.  Let’s not veer off the path allowing you to attain your incredibly comfortable livilyhood.


Posted in Celebrity Hot Air, Nuggets of Potpourri | 2 Comments »

Memorial Day – Part 2

Posted by TheJOTUS on May 31, 2010

Sweet baby Jesus, this is just freaking cool.  Just.  Freaking.  Awesome:

Posted in Celebrity Hot Air, Military, Photo Of The Moment, Quote Of The Day | Leave a Comment »

Tom Brady: Pretentious Dickbag

Posted by TheJOTUS on March 14, 2010

Another shining example of a celebrity insisting upon themselves (Is Tom Brady a celebrity?  Ok, maybe a  pseudo celebrity).  Apparently they are still peddling the hoax that is man-made “climate change”:

Supermodel Gisele Bündchen and husband, NFL great Tom Brady have recently shown their support for WWF’s Earth Hour by filming two videos that encourage people around the world to join them in turning off their lights for Earth Hour on Saturday, March 27th at 8:30 pm.

Tell you what big ticket, I’ll play along with you and your little pop tart by shutting my lights off  for an hour that day.  You know what, I think I might even shut them off for a full eight hours–like I do every night.  But instead of climbing atop your soap box and lecturing me, how about you talk to your company and see if they could maybe cut out a few of those big stadium night games?  Think that might be a better idea sport?


Posted in Celebrity Hot Air | 1 Comment »

Healthcare Debate Between Two Unlikely People

Posted by TheJOTUS on December 4, 2009

Quite possibly one of the more surreal videos you will ever see.  The way they are sitting in those “S” shaped chairs is just freaking weird.

Shatner: “How……do you……know???
Rush: Dammit Jim, I’m the number one rated political talk show host, not a doctor!!!


But seriously.  How do we know, Bill?  Are you kidding?

Obamacare is a clear example of how there are winners and losers here.  If you’ve got insurance, you’re a loser.  Congratulations, you will now basically have a complete stranger’s health care added to your premiums as if he’s a member of your family, because you can afford it.

If you don’t have insurance, you may be a winner… sort of.   On the one hand you come out ahead — free money!  Woo hoo! — but on the other, the health care overall is driven to a lower quality.  So Mr. and Mrs. I-Ain’t-American get the same shitty care as I do because it waters down the product.

This is and always will be about one thing.  A direct transfer of wealth, and the services that wealth buys, from the middle class to the lower class.   And that is plenty of reason for the uninsured and poor to support this plan.

Like I said before Bill, with the millions you have made over the years, why don’t you buy some of the uninsured a quality plan that pays their medical bills for a year?  Maybe even convincing a few of your friends to do the same:

Posted in Celebrity Hot Air, Conservatives in the Know, Healthcare | Leave a Comment »

Bat Shit Crazy Angelina Jolie Just Got A Little Bit Hotter, But Is Still Bat Shit Crazy

Posted by TheJOTUS on November 26, 2009

I say bat shit crazy because I still can’t get over her making out with her brother.  Add that with the viles of blood with Billy Bob Thorton and, well, it is just weird.  And trashy.  Hot trashyness……

Moving on.

Apparently Angelina isn’t a big fan of The Chosen One:

 Barack Obama does not have Angelina Jolie’s seal of approval.

“She hates him,” a source close to the U.N. goodwill ambassador, 34, tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now).

“She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” adds the source…

“Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors,” the source says.

Is this story true?  Who knows.  But her stance on the Iraq war was rather right leaning.  Plus, we know her father (Jon Voight) has been pretty vocal on the conservative side.  So we know the seeds are there.

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Celebrity Hacks Have A Message On ObamaCare

Posted by TheJOTUS on October 2, 2009

Celebrities who make millions upon millions create an almost unwatchable piece essentially accusing insurance executives of being overpaid.  Now that is rich.  Pun intended.

Some of the celebrities you might know: Ferrell (of course), and that guy from Scrubs.  No, not that guy.  The black one.  And Thelma from Scooby Doo.  So yeah, like tons of credibility.

In the video, you will learn 80% of America is all for a public option, which is news to most people.  I doubt you make it through the entire thing, but kudos if you do:

The majority of real doctors are against ObamaCare, but 100% of TV doctors with a free afternoon to be in a web video are for it! 

Ferrell made 20 million for Bewitched and God knows how much for Semi Pro.  Nobody who pocketed that kind of cash for that crap should be commenting on overpaid execs.  With that kind of money Mr. Ferrell, you could easily take a measly few hundred thousand and buy some of the uninsured a quality plan that pays their medical bills for a year.  Perhaps even convincing a few of your friends to do the same.

If you want to truly help people pay for services, lead by example and change things.  But you won’t, cause that is the type of guy you are.


Ferrell and fellow douchenozzle’s get pwned.  Awesomely awesome:

Even BETTER.  Super awesomely awesome:

Posted in Celebrity Hot Air, Healthcare | Leave a Comment »

Kanye West: Hee Haw, Hee Haw, Hee Haw

Posted by TheJOTUS on September 14, 2009

That would be a jackass by the way.

In another act of complete douchebaggery, Kanye West has managed to solidify himself in the toolbag hall of fame.

Last night at the MTV Video Music Awards, Taylor Swift received an award for best female video. As she was about to give her acceptance speech, Kanye bum rushed the stage, stole her microphone and proceeded to kick a bunch of sand in her face by shouting Beyonce had the best video of all time.

You stay classy Kanye.

What makes Kanye look even more like a jabroni is that Beyonce was given an award for best video of the year. Clown.

Beyonce, to her credit, took the opportunity to bring Swift back up on stage so she could finish her speech. Although, she should have publicly condemned Kanye’s actions, it was still a classy move.

Exit question: Why is a channel that doesn’t play videos, giving out video music awards? Just askin……

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Megan Fox Has A 5 Cent Head, And Is Completely Hot. But Mostly Has A 5 Cent Head

Posted by TheJOTUS on June 11, 2009

You know what we really need in this country right now?  More vapid, self-centered, attention-whoring ignorants (that’s right, ignorants.  Wanna fight about it?) like Megan Fox:

The “Transformers” bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates — reluctantly — what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. “I’d barter with him,” she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, “and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

This coming from a chic who hails from Tennessee.  And who herself is a little trashy with A) the roles she plays, and B) her many tattoos.  But she is still hot.

Not sure if there was a follow-up question asking her about the “Middle America” state of California, overwhlemingly passing Prop 8.  But, umm, you know, semantics I guess.

Funny how she is pointing out her belief that middle America is intolerant, while at the same time being, well, intolerant.  Oh, and the fact she took a question on what she would say to Megatron and politicized it, is pretty hilarious as well.  What’s next?  Maybe a sit down to hammer out a deal with Cobra Commander?  Without preconditions I am sure.

But, her ignorance still doesn’t take anything away from her extreme hotness.  I doubt her “10” status on the Kade Scale will change much, no matter what she says.  And when you reach the top of the Kade Scale, you know you hit it big.

Posted in Celebrity Hot Air | 1 Comment »

David Carradine Maybe Forgets “Safe Word,” Dies In Bangkok Hotel

Posted by TheJOTUS on June 4, 2009

It appears he was naked and hanging in a Bangkok hotel room closet, but details shmeeetails.  The sexual asphyxia is only my assumption.  But one sure could draw that conclusion:

Kill Bill and Kung Fu star David Carradine has been found dead in a Bangkok hotel room on Thursday.

Thai police told the BBC the 72-year-old was found naked by a hotel maid in a wardrobe with a cord around his neck and other parts of his body.  And by “other parts of his body” we mean his mommy daddy button.

It is entirely possible that last sentence did not appear in the article.

If it was sexual asphyxia, let’s hope his safe word wasn’t “more.”  That might have caused some confusion.  But let’s face it, an orgasm related death at the age of 72 might be considered a win-win.

No word on whether if there was a pebble found in his hand.

Hmmmm:  Since I posted this I have done a little Googlin and Bingin.  Apparently, depending on where you land with your search, there are roughly between 50 and a few hundred deaths per year resulting from sexual asphyxia.  And most are male–go figure.

I also found out that, apparently, when some people do this, they put a lemon slice in their mouth.  The idea is when consciousness is about to fade, they bite down on the lemon slice causing them to wake-up allowing time to “unhang” themselves.  Ehhhh, I don’t know about that.

But……if it is true, you might want to think about that for a minute.  Is that how you want to be found if things go wrong?  Naked, in your closet, rope around your neck and giggle stick, cock in your hand, with a wedge of lemon hanging out of your mouth?

Mom would be proud.

Posted in Celebrity Hot Air, Nuggets of Potpourri | Leave a Comment »

Pansy Of The Day

Posted by TheJOTUS on May 26, 2009

Actually it is from last week, but give me a break, I don’t watch The View so it took awhile for it to get to me.  If they made watching this show part of our “torture” tactics, it would make waterboarding seem like a wet wash cloth.

In this segment, Glenn Beck drops by to rustle the feathers of the cackling hens over at The View.  Turns out, Beck got hen pecked himself…ahem.

In case you can’t stomach 6 plus minutes of this crap, it sums up like this:  Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg feel much maligned because Beck said they had reserved seats on a train, as he was told by Amtrak.  He was trying to paint the picture of the two being elitists.  Walters and Goldberg claim it’s not true.

What makes Beck a pansy is the fact he let these two intellectual dimwits push him around.  He lost control and was backpeddling the entire way.  And that is pathetic.

In other news regarding Fox personalities…

The NYT is reporting possible rumors that Megyn Kelly might be taking Greta Van Susteren’s spot once her contract runs out.  Oh my.  Oh…Miss Megyn, sooo hot, want to touch the hiny.  Ahhhooooooooooooo…

Ahem, where was I?  Oh right. 

Actually I kind of like Greta.  Sure she goes a bit overboard on the missing children/murdering husbands/child murderers yada, yada, yada.  But it is a change of pace from two straight hours of Hannity and O’Reilly. 

Frankly, if there were going to be any replacements, I would like to see Megyn take the place of that pansy Glenn Beck.  Kelly is hot, has a legal backround, tenacious and doesn’t let her guests run the show.

Plus she is hot.  Not sure if I pointed that out.

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