The Jim of the United States

Archive for the ‘In and Outside the Sport’ Category

The Start Of A New Season

Posted by TheJOTUS on April 6, 2010

Yesterday I attended the Royals opener against the Tigers.  We didn’t fare too well, losing 8-4.  It is clear our middle relief is going to have a long year.

But with that said, it was a great day.  Baseball is hands down my favorite sport.  It is a such a cerebral game.  And just being at the ballpark, well, it doesn’t get much better.  Beer, hotdogs, the crack of the bat, the pop of the mitt, beer (did I mention that already?), all of it is sweet sweet music to my eyes and ears and taste buds.

So, with the start of the new season I thought I would re-post a memory of a rather famous Royals incident some 27 years ago.  The Pine Tar Incident.  Back when the Royals we good, a long, long, long time ago:

Playing at New York’s Yankee Stadium on July 24, 1983, with the Kansas City Royals trailing 4-3 and two outs in the top of the ninth inning, Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett hit a pitch from Yankee reliever Rich “Goose” Gossage for a two-run home run, seemingly giving the Royals a 5-4 lead. As Brett crossed home plate, Yankees manager Billy Martin approached umpire Tim McClelland and requested that Brett’s bat be examined for an illegal amount of pine tar. With Brett watching from the dugout, McClelland measured the bat against the width of home plate and determined the amount of pine tar on Brett’s bat exceeded the amount allowed by Rule 1.10(b) of the Major League Baseball rule book. The umpire crew called Brett out, and an irate Brett ran onto the field where he was ejected. The game was declared over.

After the game, Royals management appealed the umpire crew’s ruling to American League president Lee MacPhail, who overturned the umpire’s decision and ordered the remainder of the game replayed, with Brett’s home run allowed. In allowing Brett’s home run, MacPhail ruled that the amount of pine tar on Brett’s bat did not affect the distance of the home run, and that any challenge to the amount of pine tar on Brett’s bat should have been brought, if at all, prior to Gossage throwing his first pitch.

Although Lee MacPhail is no Judge Cardozo, his ruling is almost as widely used in law school classrooms. In his heralded civil procedure course, Michigan law professor Richard Friedman often analogizes Billy Martin’s decision to challenge Brett’s excessive pine tar only after he hit his home run to an attorney that would argue for a court to dismiss a case for lack of personal jurisdiction, or improper venue, only after an answer to a complaint had been filed. Many other law professors use the Pine Tar case to introduce the difference between the letter of the law, and the spirit of the law.

As a sports enthusiast (albeit a New Yorker), I look back at Lee MacPhail’s ruling and believe he made the right call. In some respects, however, MacPhail’s ruling may not have gone far enough. In the original game, umpire Tim McClelland ejected George Brett for arguing about the original pine tar ruling. Given that the game was replayed from the point in time of Brett’s home run, and arguably from before Brett was ejected, Brett’s subsequent ejection should have been erased from the game record, along with his being called out. Nevertheless, when the Pine Tar game was continued on 8/18, Brett was deemed ineligible to play, and the rarely used Royals backup Greg Pryor replaced Brett at third base. (As a side note, the Yankees resumed the game with first baseman Don Mattingly playing second base, and pitcher Ron Guidry in center field).

As a final point of note, when the Pine Tar game resumed, Yankees manager Billy Martin again challenged Brett’s home run on the grounds that Brett had not touched all the bases, maintaining that there was no way for the current umpires (who were a different crew from those who worked the earlier part of this game) to resolve his contention. The new umpire crew, however, was prepared for Martin’s challenge, as umpire Davey Phillips produced a legal affidavit signed by the July 24 umpires, which stated that Brett had indeed touched all of the bases.

Ultimately, the Royals went on to win the Pine Tar game 5-to-4, thanks to Brett’s controversial home run. And, as for sports lawyers, the outcome was indoctrinated in our own unique world of case law.


Posted in In and Outside the Sport | 1 Comment »

Tiger Woods: Before Sexual Addiction Therapy, Women Only Made Me Cry Through My Penis, Now I Can Cry Through My Eyes

Posted by TheJOTUS on February 20, 2010

Tiger had his press conference today about how sorry he was about “shanking his driver into some strange, unraked, bunker”.  Sorry, I couldn’t come up with a better golf analogy…although I thought my headline was quite clever…

Who exactly is he apologizing to?  Me?  You?  His wife?  What is the point of this?

And how do they “cure” sex addictions?  Cheetos, Mountain Dew and World of Warcraft?  After that you’re probably just addicted to masturbating.  Just sayin…

Here you go.  Tiger, in all his robotness…I’ve seen more emotion from Osama Bin Laden videos.  Geesh:

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | 1 Comment »

Breaking: Kansas Football Coach Mark “Fat” Mangino Resigns

Posted by TheJOTUS on December 3, 2009

Breaking news tonight out of Lawrence, KS where Mark Margeringino resigns as head football coach

In just two short years after going 12-1, a scandalous birth in the Orange Bowl and a national coach of the year award, the fat man has resigned.  Allegations of verbal and physical abuse in conjunction with an incredibly disappointing season apparently did him in.

Baby Huey went 50-48 during his eight years at KU.  50-48.  Good thing he had that 12-1 season tucked in there to make that record respectable. 

In truth, tons-o-fun was a mediocre coach at best. Prior to the 2007 season, rumors were flying he was going to be fired, instead he was given a stay.  2007 hit and he took advantage of the most cupcake schedule in the history of football in both the non-con and not playing Texas or Oklahoma.  2007 was the one time he played for his division and got waxed by his border rival Missouri in the biggest game in school history. 

Once, in eight years.  He never won his division and never played for his conference.  If I was a KU fan, I would be looking forward to who the new coach will be.

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

Pro Football Political Donations: Where’s Your Team?

Posted by TheJOTUS on November 8, 2009

Well.  Yet another reason to hate the Eagles, Steelers and Patriots.  Commie’s.

Somewhat surprisingly, the Chiefs are 84% non-commie.   On the other hand, the Chargers earned some goodwill (even if they are in AFC West) donating 98% to the Republican party.  Almost 4 times more than the next team, the Texans.

Some interesting notables:  The Saints, Giants, Jaguars and Jets all gave overwhelmingly to the Republicans despite having huge democratic constituencies.

And on sort of an irony note.  The team pursued by Rush Limbaugh’s buying group, donated 98% to the democrats.  Heh.

Oh, and the NFL as a whole?  70% commie.

Of course, coaches and players give money as well.  Norv Turner gave $2,500 to McCain’s Presidential campaign and Andy Reid donated money to Mitt Romney.  Players Todd Heap, Ryan Denney, Derrik Brooks and Byron Leftwich also donated to Republican candidates.

And a guy who moved up a notch in my book is Peyton Manning.  He, as well as his wife, gave $2,500 to presidential candidate and Senator Fred Thompson.  Peyton also gave $2,000 to W’s 2004 re-election campain.  So now Manning is at notch one.  But it’s a start…

Incidentally, no one really cares about this basket-case organization, but Al Davis is as good a political theorist as he is an owner.

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

The World Series: What You Get With A $787 Million Payroll

Posted by TheJOTUS on November 5, 2009

I hate the yankees. With a passion. From the city, the organization, the team and the fan. All of it.

To paraprhrase SNL’s Seth Meyers: “You suck in three very specific ways. So Hard, So Bad, and Wicked Bad.”

Especially yankee fan who lives here in the Midwest. It is usually some white trash douchebag who drives a garbage truck. Oh sure, he will tell you he has always been a yankee fan his whole life. But in reality, he has just been a douchebag his whole life.

So with a payroll just shy of $900 million, the yankees bought themselves a nice shiny trophy. They are like the pervert loser in accounting who can’t get laid on his own, so he has to go pay some dirty hooker to get his knob polished. And the yankees paid for one hell of an escort service.

Plus, why is it only 109 feet to left field at yankee stadium? And after 100+ years of existence, and alllllll of their championship teams, and allllll of their hall of famers, how in the hell do they not have a player with 3000 hits? How is that possible?

$1.2 trillion and a championship trophy.

Nancy “stretch” Pelosi just emailed me: After weeks of trying to figure out how to pay for government run healthcare, we have finally found a solution. The New York Yankees.

I could take the high road and tip my hat to them. But congratulating them is like congratulating the IRS. They’re still going to win and everybody still hates you.

So I guess congrats Team Satan. You are an evil incubus imposing its demonic will on us pure, decent, non-paying-for-hookers, Americans.


Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

Presidential Picks

Posted by TheJOTUS on March 24, 2009

As we all know, last week the president took time out of his busy schedule to fill out an NCAA bracket.  Ahhh, his busy, busy schedule.  It has been nearly two months now and he still has 17 of 18 Senate-confirming, senior nominations to the Treasury.  You would think that would be important in the economy we are in.  You know, the economy he takes so seriously. 

Hell, even Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski suggests he might want to focus a little more on his job rather than the brackets.  But then again, perhaps that is why Coach K is successful at his job.  But I digress…

You can definitely put this one in the “What if Bush did it” file.  I don’t doubt Bush filled out a bracket or two.  But W probably did it while sitting in bed at night, on the shitter or perhaps even at lunch.   Maybe all three, who knows.  Although, I think he was more like most in that he waited until the last minute and slapped one together in about 2 minutes.

But not the stuttering handjay that is our president.  Nope, he slaps on a presidential seal and calls ESPN.  Watch him as he goes round by round.  What a jabroni.  Classic quote:

I can’t stay up until 2 in the morning, I have work to do.

Awesome.  You can’t make that up folks.

So how is the most basketball savvy president evahhhh doing in his bracket?  At least the one he felt most comfortable with filling out on ESPN?  How about 33 of 48.  Nice job Barry! 

33 of 48 will earn you a cool spot at 59 out of 63 in my office pool (Incidentally, none of the brackets in my office pool were profiled on ESPN)!

So basically, not much better than what he has done since being elected.

Posted in B. Hussein Obama, In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

Chiefs Fire Herm Edwards

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 25, 2009

hermYeah I know I am late on this:

Herm Edwards was finally fired 10 days after Scott Pioli was named General Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs and three seasons (and 10 days or so) after being named head coach.  I guess I stand corrected.  B. Hussein Obama’s election really did bring hope and change.  Well……at least to Kansas City. 

In my opinion it was three seasons too late.  However, there are some out there that think it was cruel to leave Herm swaying in the wind for ten days before pulling the trigger.  Me, not so  much.  What was cruel was the fact that Herm kept insisting Brodie Croyle was our starting quarterback, knowing full well he couldn’t start my car let alone start in the NFL.  I wonder what else was cruel?  Oh yeah, the guy went 15 and 33.  15 and 33.  Are you kidding me? 

Look, Herm is a great guy.  An outstanding guy and a man full of integrity.  His work in the community, specifically the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, will not be forgotten.  And frankly, being Herm, he will continue to do so.

In the end, I am tired of paying $1,200 for season tickets to see a 2-12 team take the field.  Bottom line, it comes down to playing to win the game……

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

Another NFL Team Makes Coaching Change, Chiefs Continue To Retain Herm Edwards

Posted by TheJOTUS on January 18, 2009

Yep.  Tampa Bay fired Super Bowl winning coach Jon Gruden on Friday after failing to make the playoffs for the third time in four years.  Yet, the Kansas City Chiefs–as of 6:00 pm on Sunday evening–still have coach Herm Edwards on the payroll.  Funny how some teams have greater expectations than others…

In the last 3 years, Gruden went 22-26 while Mr. Time Management went 15-33–with a nice two-win season this year for good measure.   Frankly, Edwards should have been fired at the beginning of the year for insisting Brodie “Glass Jaw” Croyle was our starter (it lasted almost exactly one half of a football game). 

The 13 years too late firing of Carl Peterson was a good start.  And the hiring of former New England Patriots VP of Player Personnel definitely helped build on that good start (he did help build 3 Super Bowl winners).  But we need a real change on the field.

Oh, and not to kick any more sand into my fellow Chiefs fans faces, but the Arizona Cardinals beat the Eagles today to go to the Super Bowl.  The Arizona freaking Cardinals.  A team, prior to this year, that had one winning season since 1988.  One.


Posted in In and Outside the Sport | 6 Comments »

Ding Dong The King Is Dead

Posted by TheJOTUS on December 15, 2008


Well, Christmas came early for Kansas City Chiefs fans.  Today, at approximately 4:15pm, it was announced that Carl “King Carl” Peterson has tendered his resignation effective at the end of the season.  Clark Hunt issued the following statement:

“On behalf of my family and the entire Kansas City Chiefs organization, I want to thank Carl for his two decades of service to the Chiefs,” Chiefs chairman Clark Hunt said. “Both Carl and I agreed that immediately initiating the search for the next Chiefs general manager would be the best thing for the future of the organization, and he will be resigning following the 2008 season.”

To me, this sounded like Clark told Carl to resign or he was fired.  But that is just me.  And frankly, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that Carl Peterson is gone.  Two decades of theft, rape, tyranny and oppression are over for the good people of Kansas City.

I can hardly hold back my tears of joy……

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »

BCS Revision

Posted by TheJOTUS on December 8, 2008

This was sent to me via email.  In light of the recent BCS debate, I thought it was quite funny:

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden,
Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented “France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

Posted in In and Outside the Sport | Leave a Comment »